Through out this week, there are two stories that I just cannot let go, which compels my to blog about it. They have to do with Megan Meier. The emergence of the Internet, as an electronic medium of new technology has brought tremendous changes in how people live in today’s information society. Millions of people are communicating within on-line communities, looking for information, connecting for discussions about countless topics, sharing stories, and, yes, attempting to form the relationships with another people. However, as the identity of the young is largely shaped through the feedback they receive from their peers becomes an essential part in the lives of young people, both in the real and in the virtual worlds.

Young people in particular are the ones who most often feel the need to meet the societal expectations and may therefore unconsciously engage in social comparisons. When it comes to teens the opinions of friends are especially valuable, which in that phase in a young person’s life is the determinant of one’s self-esteem. In cyberspace, people can transcend their embodied identity and explore being black, white, feminine, or masculine - a way we can walk in another’s persons shoe. But what happens when a person goes to far. This was the case of Megan Meier - the 13 year-old girl who hung herself last year after being bullied on MySpace (h/t to Gordo at appletree).

Megan Meier had suffered from low self-esteem and was on medication at the time of her death. One day on MySpace, Megan received a message from MySpace notifying her that a boy name Josh Evans, contacted her and wanted to be added as a friend. So after the two formed a quick connection during their more than month-long relationship. According to reports, Evans claimed on his profile to be a 16-year-old boy who lived nearby and was home schooled. But what began as a promising online friendship soon turned sour, as compliments turned to insults, and calling her a “slut” and a “bad person.”

On Sunday, Oct. 15, 2006, Megan received a puzzling and disturbing message from Josh, saying: “I don’t know if I want to be friends with you anymore because I’ve heard that you are not very nice to your friends.” Soon after a cyber exchange took place, but the flurry of exchanged was too much for Megan. At one point, Josh told Megan that everyone in town knew she was a bitch and a slut and that “the world would be a better place without her.” This not only devastated her, but it left her confused as to why her friendship unraveled. The stress and frustration was too much for Megan, who had a history of depression.

On the next day, Tina Meier, Megan’s mom, found Megan’s lifeless body in a bedroom closet - taking Josh’s cure message to her to heart, she had decided to take her own life. To make matters worse, Tina and Ron Meier, who are now separated and plan to divorce, had learned there never was a Josh Evans, his profile was a fake created by Lori Drew - the mother of the girl Megan had once been friends with.

Here is a family who just lost their daughter because their daughter was being bullied by Drew, who lived four doors away, on MySpace. Drew admitted to police that she created the phony MySpace profile in a bid to smoke out negative comments about her child by Megan. Apparently this crime was enough for the girl to take her own life. This is one reason why this is a most pressing issue.

Cyber bullying is not new. We see all the time how these things escalate. But what about the poor kid who gets harassed to the point where the victim feels as if they’re at the end of their rope. Some parents are breeding hate crimes and or not involved enough in their child’s life to even know what kind of person they really are.

Gordo points out that in one of the police reports on The Smoking Gun showed how Drew had little empathy had towards Megan.

Drew state she knew “arguments” had broken out between Megan and others on “my space.” Drew felt this incident contributed to Megan’s suicide, but she did not feel “as guilty” because at the funeral she found out “Megan had tried to commit suicide before.”

Violence is (and always has been) a part of the human condition. When it comes to violence, it has adverse effects on individuals, families, and society in general. From war to child abuse, murder to school-yard bullying, violence takes its toll, often with children being the innocent victims and in this case the not-so-innocent perpetrator. The police reports also indicate that Drew’s daughter was also involved with her mother in harassing Megan.

It is apparent that there will be criminal charges filed in connection with Megan’s death. Megan and her family are not the only victim, the other is Drew’s daughter, she just learned that it is OK to bully and harass another person who is emotionally or physically weaker because there will be no consequences for their actions.

When looking for the influences on a child’s behavior, one does not have to look far, it starts at home. It is already known that children who are exposed to yelling, name-calling, harsh criticism, or physical anger in the home, the chances that the child will display the same behavior in other settings is very high. Parents are very powerful role models and children will mimic the behavior of parents, wanting to be like them. They may believe violence is OK and they can use it with peers. When parents engage in violence, children may assume violence is the right way to do things.

This kind of senseless violence must end. Bullying must be taken seriously for the crime that it is and Lori Drew must be brought to justice.

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